Anybody who knew me when I was a child must be surprised at what a rabid baseball fan I have become over the last five years. Why? Because I sucked at baseball as a kid. For what it’s worth, I still suck pretty bad even though the baseballs have been replaced with softballs for my current age group. Why did I suck so bad at baseball, you ask?
I sucked at baseball, because I didn’t care to succeed. I didn’t have the drive to learn the rules, to practice in the back yard, to play with my friends, or (heaven forbid) watch other people play. Of course, this lack of desire didn’t apply only to baseball. I could get around on the soccer field or the basketball court OK, but I was never a dynamo…I certainly never played or practiced at home. I simply didn’t have the drive to succeed at baseball, or any other sport for that matter.
That’s not to say I was lazy or an under-achiever. I applied myself vigorously to academics and videogames–two grand hallmarks of geekery. It’s probably better that I didn’t discover Dungeons and Dragons until my late twenties. And in my late teens, I began to pursue success in the work of the Church and music. That drive was there, just never in the realm of physical activity and exercise.
It may sound strange to say this, but I never knew why I sucked at baseball until about three months ago. Thanks to the influence of a good friend and a child on the way, I decided to take my health more seriously. My first goal: to run a 5K in February 2013. As I began training, I realized that running is hard freaking work. If you are not absolutely dedicated to it, you will not succeed. The pain in your legs, the burning in your lungs, the cold of the air when bed is so warm–all these things will force you to stop. That is, if you are not absolutely dedicated to the process. I learned to push myself further than I wanted to go, through the pain, through the frustration, to achieve the next goal.
Two weeks ago, my doctor told me to stop running. He said I was going to obliterate my knees and ankles, unless I lose 70 pounds first. That really pissed me off. Because now I can’t achieve my goal of running a 5k in February. So, I’m taking a different route: intensive exercise and a really crazy diet, so I can get back to running and run that 5k. I’ll run/walk this one in February, but eventually, I’m going to fully run one. Here’s what this all has to do with my sucking at baseball. I sucked at baseball, because I didn’t care to succeed. Because I never cared to succeed in the areas of health or exercise, I have to do extra work now to make up for it.
In retrospect, watching me play sports must have been a bittersweet process for my parents. They loved me and would have been proud if I’d been a ribbon dancer. Still, I imagine my lack of interest and heartfelt drive probably made watching me play somewhat exhausting. On Tuesday, Meg and I found out that we are having a baby boy. Whatever sport he chooses to play, I hope he learns the value of pushing himself–not just academically and spiritually–but also physically. Physical training may be of some value, but it is valuable nonetheless.
I wish I had learned this earlier than at 29 years of age. But then, I’m a stubborn son-of-a-gun who likes academics, video games, and D&D. You can expect I’ll never be good at baseball, but with God’s help I’m gonna get healthy.
Oh, and why did I suddenly start watching baseball? I met a beautiful girl who rooted for the Red Sox.
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